


This is a story all about how

by demonsrunningwithangels



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-09
Updated: 2017-04-28
Packaged: 2018-09-23 05:07:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9641912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demonsrunningwithangels/pseuds/demonsrunningwithangels
Summary: It all flipped for her. In an instant.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> For a point of reference in this A/U story, the Accords were never signed. Steve and Tony are still on uneasy ground. The Avengers mostly behave themselves. 
> 
> This is mostly from her point of view. I'll note when it switches.
> 
> Thanks for reading!

January 2nd 2016 that’s when it all flipped upside down.

I guess I should introduce myself. I’m Kendall Buchanan and my life is weird. Here’s the run down: I was born a genius so I was a “difficult” kid to raise. I was born in 1991. We always had money so I was blessed in many ways, at least from a physical needs stand point.My parents got divorced when I was 7. I graduated high school at 15 and went to Stanford as a emancipated adult at 16; started law school at 19. Finished at 22. I lost my dad the same year. I’ve got a baby sister Cesselynn that lives with me. She’s the only other constant in my life. I took over my dad’s real estate development/construction company. Needless to say we have never been ones to want for anything. I also inherited the house my dad kept. It's been in his family for years. It’s an older home but it’s expansive and just outside the metro area. Just us two and our housekeeper Caroline; she’s only there once a week and on the weekends.

I had a really awful relationship, abusive in every way, in college. I got out of it just before graduation. I finally told my dad what had been going on and why I had acted so strange year after year, he one upped me. Cancer and by the time they had found it the year before it was too late. He hid it from me so I would finish school. He died four months after that conversation. I went off the deep end when my dad passed. I needed to control my otherwise spinning world. So I poured every moment I could into my body. I found a very small gym, owner’s name is Rich. It’s quiet and I can lift in peace. I come here two times a day. I lose myself in the simplicity of it; all I have to do is push back against what’s trying to hold me down. That’s all. Some people would say I’m bulky. My sister thinks I look like Dana Lynn Bailey. I mean body wise I’m pretty close. Same dark hair but long with pale blue eyes and I’m five foot eight. 

Rich told me he gave a couple of members keys; those dedicated ones. His words not mine but still very nice. It’s three thirty in the morning and I’m sitting here foam rolling out my IT bands (because it’s leg day baby!) Headphones in, music on. The world becomes easy again. Now to get past this pain and focus.

Until he walked in. I couldn’t believe it. Looked like any other guy, except really defined. He was wearing a blue baseball hat and aviators. Simple gray tee with the limits of the seams being tested by those arms and pecs. Blue pants that hugged his ass like nothing I’ve ever seen. Then I saw his face. Holy fucking shit. That’s….no way. I pull out my headphones like it would help me see better. That’s him all right. Steve Rogers, Captain fucking America. 

All of a sudden, I feel the urge to serve my country. 

Crap stared too long. Eye contact. He waved; who waves? Of course he does. Dead; that smile could light up the whole city.

I scramble to put my headphones back in and start my work out. At least I got the motivation down.

And I kept seeing him every single time I was there for the next week. Every day the same. Morning and evenings. Either it’s the biggest coincidence in the world or he knows my routine and he’s trying to see me. It’s the same thing each time. I see him, we make eye contact. He smiles and waves then gets to his workout.

Which is a thing of beauty to watch him move. Good lord, he’s perfection.

I never speak to him. He never speaks to me. It’s maddening. He always stops to get the door for me when I leave. We wave good bye. 

Now I’m doing a heavy leg day and all I can think about is what my name would sound like coming out of his mouth.

I’ve got it so bad.

I just finished my second set of squats. My old max, 275. I see him looking in the mirrors as I change the 25s for another set of 45s. 315. He looks impressed. Save that for the lift pal. 

I swear I can feel him keeping an eye on me. Maybe that’s just wishful thinking.  
“In the Air Tonight” blasts in my ears. Seems odd but it’s very calming. Zone out. Down and back up. I got this. Chalk. Grips. The feel of the cool bar against my hot skin. Check the feet. Breathe. You got it.

I lift off the bar. The fear grips tight. I don’t have this. I sit it back down. I can’t. Not alone.

Damn it.

Squatting 315 seems more possible than talking to him. I take out of my headphones and walk over to him. Well, he has to finish this set. I’ll wait. God those arms. Calm down girl. Don’t be an idiot.

He looks up at me. Those eyes. I need to say something. Do something.

“Hi,” I offer my hand, “sorry about the chalk. I’m Kendall. Kendall Buchanan.”

That smile. Dead, “nice to meet you. I’m Steve R…”

“I know who you are. Like everyone would know. Seriously that hat and sunglasses thing won’t fool anyone. A hoodie would do you some good. Not that six foot and built like a brick shit house wouldn’t give you away.” 

Stop talking! Word vomit. At least he laughed a little.

“Hard to be subtle. Was wondering when you were going to say hello. I’ve seen you everyday this week.”

“Why didn’t you come over?” Fair question.

“Well, my friends tell me that there are rules in gyms. Like headphones in mean no talking. Plus, I wasn’t sure how to just walk over there and say hi.”

Is he really that shy, “well, you just said it. So hi back.”

I’m watching his chest rise and fall. Shit I’m staring. I hope he didn’t notice, “Anyway Steve, since we know each others names now, um….I was actually wondering if you could give me a spot? I had to swallow my pride a little asking but I don’t trust myself.”

“It would be my pleasure.”

He follows me back. Oh God, did he just check me out? No way. Not at all. He was just following.

I make sure I’m all set up, “I haven’t gone this heavy in ages. I’m just a little in my own head about it. And I thought I should have the guy that probably does this as his warm up be there to bail me out if needed.”

He sprawls his hands over the rails of the squat rack. Right behind me. That smile again. His ears are red, “Not my usual warm up. Add a couple more,” okay that was funny, “Kidding but in all seriousness, 315 is impressive.”

I get back under this bar and look up, “You mean, for a girl?”

“I mean for anyone Kendall.”

Way to make my knees weak before I need them Cap.

I close my eyes and focus. Just breathe.

I feel his body heat close; sense his hands near my waist. Just hovering above touch, “you can do this. Don’t think about it so much. Come on.”

I lift off and step back. He’s right in my space. I get the breathing down and nod. Let’s fucking do it.

Its almost too much. My quads are on fire. Parallel. 

“Back up. Come on.”

Yes sir. I can feel the strain and the stress drain off as I push up. His fingers ghost over my waist as I stand. He grips the bar as I walk forward and set it down. I step out and I couldn’t be happier, “Fuck yes! That was awesome!”

“Told ya you could do it. Didn’t even need me.”

I punch him in the arm. Bless him, he pretended like it hurt, “I think I did. You didn’t have to give me a speech.”

“Maybe,” he sighs like he’s trying to push something away, “but I felt like maybe you don’t get enough people telling you that you can.”

I try to give my best, I’m good smile. He won’t know the difference. Quick, get him off the trail, “we make a pretty good team. I mean, you lift all the weight and I do like a quarter.”

He laughed so loud. It’s glorious, “Yeah? And maybe I’m good at motivational speeches.”

I shake my head, “All right, I surrender Cap. I needed that. You’re good at it. It helped though.”

That silence again. When did we stop talking? When did it get so hot? I feel like an idiot.

He hands me my water that’s sitting on the bench. Like he’s expecting me to hydrate. Well, can’t disobey the captain right, “Well, if I’m that helpful. You ready to go again?”

We both laugh. It feels like I haven’t laughed in so long, “About that.”

“We seem to be in here at the same time,” he looks down at the ground like he’s nervous, “maybe we could train together. I mean, if I won’t slow you down.”

He looks up at me through those lashes. Not fair. “I mean. Sure. I could do that. Captain America as my gym partner. Yeah, that’d be cool I guess.”

He shakes his head and laughs, “It’s just Steve. Trust me.”

And that’s how it all started. We trained everyday together. Well, six days a week. Twice a day. He even got me out to run. I haven’t done cardio like that, um, ever. He never misses a day. Always early. Always gets the door for me. Walks me to my car and makes sure I get pulled away. He pushes me and celebrates with me. He never lets me feel like I failed when I can’t push through. Just tells me to try it again next time. 

He believes in me. If nothing else, I’ve gained a new friend. We talk about life some. He knows what I do. He tells me stories about how the world changed. I make him laugh. He really makes me laugh. It’s fun.

After about a month, he decided to ask for my number, you know so I could tell him if I got home safe. I did have to show him how to save the number. And he double checked that I saved his number. He’s not the fastest texter; he says he prefers to call. However, now he texts me good morning and good night. Sometimes in the middle of the day just to see if I’m feeling okay. It’s sweet. In the best way. The calls just to check in on rest day aren’t weird right? I’m not over reading that. He’s just looking out for me. Maybe. 

 

I remember the first time he brought up that there may be a time where he’ll have to go and be pretty out of contact. I said I can’t get bent out of shape over his job. That the shield comes with him. He looked so proud. I mean, he’s just my friend…right? 

I know I’m attracted but I try to stay cool. He makes it easy though. I don’t feel the anxiety I normally do around people. 

Obviously not the most tech savvy person in the world. I feel like most of the time I’m showing him something brand new. He thinks Facebook is strange and I quote, who wants to post their journal for the world to see. Instagram confused him but he likes seeing all the photos of dogs. I’ve introduced him to the fun of Snapchat. He thinks its nuts. Again, exact quote. I even talked him into being my photographer a couple of times. I think that’s how I convinced him that we needed a picture together. I told him I wouldn’t ever post one of his face but I thought it would be nice to have pictures of your friends. 

I have a couple of “swolefies” which he also thinks is a little silly. I have a few selfies of us too. I even posted one of us on my snap story. He approved it first. I even texted it to him so he could have a copy on his phone. Can’t see our eyes but we’re both smiling like idiots. (Not to mention we look lean as fuck.) Even taking it, I was looking at him. Seeing the smile reach his eyes; it’s one of the most pure things I’ve ever seen.

That pic is also saved on his contact information in my phone. Complete with address and email.

I have to keep talking myself down. He’s just my friend. My insanely hot, wonderful, sweet, altruistic friend that I’ve got it so bad for that I can’t wait for even a text good morning or good night. I guess that’s what changes about you when you come out of an abusive relationship; you stop knowing how to relate to people and you don’t think you deserve anything good in the world.

And that’s Steven Grant Rogers; all that is good and kind in the world. 

He always seems so interested in my life. Where I came from, about my family, what getting my degree was like and every little thing that makes me well, me. He shared stories about growing up and how the world has changed. He talks about his mom and how he never knew his dad. It was hard for me to open up at first, all the trust issues, but somehow I knew my secrets were safe. I mean, he has knocked out Hitler over 200 times. (He hates that joke now)

He even talks about his best friend. James “Bucky” Barnes aka the Winter Soldier aka former worlds most deadly assassin aka Steve’s roommate that has a hard time getting out. He’s always so worried about him and doesn’t know what he can do. He’s so loyal and giving. It makes me ache for him. I listen and offer advice or where to look for it when he tells me “Buck had a rough one.” I guess the nightmares are really bad. It’s all flashbacks and pieces of things. Guess being assumed dead means it would be hell getting into a therapist, right?

Seeing that devotion to his friend and the love he has for him just makes every minute I’m hanging out with him more agonizing. Around the end of February we started running outside for a few miles. Even going for walks when he just needs to get out of his place so Bucky can decompress. I’d call those dates, but I know he doesn’t. 

Over these past couple of months, I’ve gotten stronger. My max days have improved five percent; even my bench is getting better which really pleases me. I’ve gained one of the most loyal and caring guy friends a girl could ask for. I start to accept that I’m always going to feel attracted to him but it’s best not to over think all that.

I think that catches you up until right now which is mid-March, the fifteenth to be exact. It was our morning workout and someone decided we should do a heavy chest day. So everything is up to the max until failure. In other words, when your body gives up you’re done. I always think I’m kind of a waste, clearly he will always be able to go. To say he has great stamina is an understatement. 

I still do my good gym partner job and spot for him anyway. And frankly the view isn’t too bad. It really is a thing of beauty to watch him work, complete with the little sheen of sweat on his skin that makes his shirt cling in all the right spots. Then I find myself thinking that this bench would be pretty handy. Right height, all I’d need to do is move closer……and in this moment, I realized how sexually deprived I am.

I didn’t even hear the bar sit down, “You seem distracted today.”

Really, since I’m somehow jealous of that water bottle, “I just didn’t sleep well that’s all. I was up later than usual prepping this paperwork for today. I’m all good.”

It’s like he knows but leaves it alone, “I hate to hear that. You need your rest.”

“Yes sir,” now I’ve got something else running through my head. Just rack your bar Kendall. You can behave. That’s a good girl.

“Very funny. Stop stalling. I know how much you hate this.”

I sigh as I lay back on the bench. He’s right; I do hate this. I’ve worked hard to get somewhat where I want to be. My chest and triceps are all ready on fire from the rest of this workout. The push-ups alone nearly killed me. I stopped counting at 350. This first set on the bench isn’t too bad. This is what my max is. Don’t get my wrong; it’s like hot fire across my pecs but I get five done. 

I decide to add a yawn for effect while we change the weights out. He seems really worried.

“If you need to stop we can,” he’s in my bubble.

“I didn’t safe word yet.” I’m an idiot.

“What?”

“It’s a code word for stop or no more. And it’s nothing something that just would come up in conversation,” that seems like nice safe answer.

“Why on Earth would you need that? If you need to stop just say so.”

“Well sometimes stop means don’t stop. Just don’t ever google why do you need a safe word.” This seems like this set might suck.

“You have my word. Ready?”

I wrap my hands around the bar and lift off. I swear I get this little jolts of energy every time my skin grazes his. I was right about this set. It’s so bad. I can feel my muscle twitching and it’s harder to get these reps out. The last one he had to help get it back to the bar, “I think I’m dying.”

“Stop being so dramatic your highness. Come on. One more set. You got it.”

It’s hard to say no to that face, “all right. Just be ready. My chest is on fire.”

He keeps looking at me like he’s got something on his mind. I hope it’s not anything serious. I feel like he already carries the weight of the world on his shoulders. 

Even though this last set is usually what I would warm up with, my body is tired. This isn’t going to be good. I don’t even know if I can get it off the bar right now. My hands are griped and I’m frozen.

He puts his hands over mine and squeezes, “Stop doubting. I’m right here. You can do it.”

I nod and lift off. It’s not fun or easy but his hands never leave mine. I manage to get five and try six before I can’t push the bar back on my own. Still pretty good.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I just need to lay here and die. That’s all.”

He laughs and offers his hand, “come on. I gotcha.”

He pulls so hard it sends me right into his chest, “well isn’t this nice and awkward,” I think I like the way he smells even now. Christ I’m pathetic. Step back Kendall. There you go.

“I didn’t mind but that wasn’t my plan if that’s what you were thinking.”

“Right…you can’t help it if you’re smoother than cream cheese on a bagel,” there’s that laugh again. And that smile. Why are you trying to kill me today, “I know I’ve been a little off but you seem like you’ve been thinking about something all morning.”

Oh man, the running the hands through the hair. Reads nervous,”yeah I have. Makes me nervous though.”

“You’re nervous? You jump out of planes and run into burning buildings for fun. Well whatever it is,treat it like a band aid. Rip it off quick. It might be painful at first but it’ll be over soon.”

“Sound advice.”

I kind of hate putting all my stuff back in this gym bag. It seems like more stuff every time. Now what’s that look for.

He takes my bag and puts it down beside him, “I wanted to say I’ve had more fun getting to train with you and getting to know you than I have had in a very long time.”

“Yeah? Me too. I’m not always so good with new people.”

He takes my hands in his, “I really enjoy your company. I was wondering if you would like to have dinner with me Friday?”

I’m floored, “Like….a date?”

“Guess so.”

Captain America just asked me out. Holy shit, “Sure. I was beginning to think you weren’t interested. Took you forever to ask me out.”

“Well I wanted to make sure you were interested. Plus I had to work up the courage. I had last week but it was already Thursday and it’s Tuesday so I figured now was as good a time as any.”

“What’s Tuesday,” then it hit me,”oh yeah I remember my Nana told me that it was unladylike to accept a date after Wednesday of the same week. Always the gentleman.”

“I try to be.”

I just now realized he still has my hands. Slowly running his thumbs over my knuckles. I really don’t want to let go, “So dinner Friday?”

“Yeah, I was thinking some place nice so we can get dressed up a little. Nothing too fancy. I heard about this place that will probably be okay with your nutrition plan.”

“You took the time to look by what they can prepare and thought about my eating habits,” he’s a keeper.

“Of course. Who wouldn’t?”

Dead, “So dinner and anything else?”

“Maybe a walk if the weather cooperates. It’s supposed to rain but who knows.I’m sure we can come up with something to do.”

“What, no movie?”

“I think movies are a horrible date. You can’t talk to each other. Plus, you’re so beautiful I want as much light as I can just to look at you.”

My face is probably ten shades of red, “well, thanks.”

“Don’t mention it. I was thinking I could pick you up at 6.”

“Should be good. I’ll text my address to you so all you have to do is click it and your GPS will open.”

He laughs and shakes his head, “SHIELD did teach me how to use my phone first thing. I just got this one in January. Just been used to the old one. I’m 98 not an idiot.” I think I’m rubbing off on him.  
“Kind of don’t want to let go of your hands.”

“I kind of don’t want you too,” how about that I don’t.

“But you have work to get to and I have work so I really have to.”

He lets go and I feel like I’ve lost something. He slings his bag and mine over his shoulders and we head for the door, “I’m glad you asked me Steve. Really.”

We get outside and lock up. He walks me to my car and puts my bag in, holds the door open for me, “I’m glad too. Still we’ve got our training together tonight and tomorrow. Friday morning I’ve got that session outside of the city.”

“I remember top secret with your secret squirrel group of friends. I’ll still get a work out in don’t worry.”

“What’s that thing you say? Oh yeah, pics or it didn’t happened.”

Challenge accepted,”Fine,” I set down and start my beautiful Cadillac and buckle up, “See you later then.”

“Have a good day doll.”

He shut the door and waved good bye. Doll? Never called me that before.

Still, I’m going on a date. With him. How am I supposed to concentrate now?


	2. Friday finally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friday before the date, Steve's point of view

Steve POV

I didn’t think I’d be this thrilled for today. It seemed like two days just breezed by. Kendall seems so happy. She even texted me she was “super excited.” I wish I could have seen her this morning but duty calls. It’s a bit of a haul out here and I didn’t have had the time to spare. This training facility is nice but Tony wasn’t kidding about it being sequestered.

Truth be told, I was afraid that maybe she wasn’t interested in more. I know she’s been hurt in the past by a great many people that she’s cared for and loved. I can see it in her eyes when she changes the subject. I know what pain looks like. Every time I see her look that way, so broken and empty, I just want to take her in my arms and promise no one will ever do that to her again. Assure her I could never make her feel that way. I just don’t want to scare her.

She’s jumpier than most twenty four year old people. She seems uneasy when I get close to her. I can see her body tense up even for a moment. I wish I knew why for sure but then again. Maybe I don’t want to know.

I’m glad that I’ve gotten to know her over these past couple of months, regardless. She’s been a joy to be around. I haven’t been this comfortable around a woman since…..well since Peggy. Kendall is strong like her; very much her own person. When the world tells her go right, she goes left. I’m sure that’s intimidating to some but I like a woman who isn’t afraid to be herself.

I would catch myself watching her work, maybe a little too long sometimes. Get a grip on yourself Rogers. Don’t stare. I couldn’t help myself. She’s breathtaking even without all the training. Then she moves and it’s perfect. I can’t describe it. 

Geez, I’ve got it bad for her. That’s for sure.

I feel like she and I have been talking about tonight non-stop for the past two days. She mentioned going to a club several times. Then she went into great detail about that being essentially a dance hall, with tighter clothing and grinding. Whatever that is. I told her we could do that if she really wanted and she said she knew some places. Hopefully I won’t run away when she wants to dance. Not panic to feel her against me; her skin under my fingers….

Do not go down that road. Gentleman first.

Right. Is it afternoon already? I guess I should get this training session underway.

Sam meets up with me in the hall. We exchange pleasantries; I’m distracted by my phone vibrating in my hands. Guess I should check….Kendall sent me a message, oh with a photo. 

“Pics or it didn’t happened right? So I’m at the gym. Messy hair and no makeup and my star spangled clothes. The plan is cardio and core. Then home to get ready. I shouldn’t even be seen in public like this.”

She is wearing my favorite colors. A red top with blue pants and stars along the waist. Just enough of her midriff to be tasteful shown not dirty. She’s perfect; I can’t get over it, “I think you’re beautiful that way every day. Just you Kendall.” I hope that made her smile.

“*blushing* you’re too sweet to me. But tonight is date night and that means I’m going to be all dolled up for you. Which is why I’m going straight home after the gym and start getting ready.”

“That’ll make it around 2 o’clock? Why on earth would you need that time? Told ya, you’re gorgeous without any extra doll.”

“Still. This is important enough for the extra. I want to. Besides, I bet you’ll be surprised and that alone with be worth the work.”  
“Fair enough. Oh yes, thank you for the address. I did get it. I’ll be in my truck; didn’t think it was motorcycle weather yet.”

“Black silverado. Check. You might have to help me in it; my shoes will be a challenge. Ug….I gotta go in and get this work out done. I’ll send more evidence so you don’t think I cheated. *kisses*”

“i wouldn’t ever….thank you for the virtual kisses…” I must have been smiling at the screen, “Sam?”

“Man, you’ve hardly said three words to me. Total silence and on your phone. I was just thinking, man that’s not like him at all. But I get it now. Smiling at the screen like an idiot. What’s her name?”

My face must be red, “Am I that obvious?”

“Nah. Just when you do that stuff. Come on, what’s her name….who is she?”

We put our things down and suit up to train. I almost wish I didn’t have to put down my phone, “Her name is Kendall and we have a date.”

His stunned silence is almost insulting, “you. Have a date.”

“Yup. Tonight. So lets get some of the stress out.”

We meet up with the rest of the team, even Tony. I know we have an uneasy relationship right now but we’re still the avengers. We still fight together. I can’t take back what Bucky did. I can’t take back not telling Tony. What I can do is work hard on making right. He did the right thing by not signing those accords. I knew it was bad; maybe deep down he did too.

“Guys we need to hurry today. Cap’s got a date.” Thanks Sam. Appreciate that.

“Seriously,” Natasha is either annoyed or thrilled. She kind of makes the same face.

“Yeah Romanov. A date. So, unless we all want to talk about my love life. Let’s go.”

I think they wanted to talk about it. However they know how important training is to me.

Although I find myself thinking about Kendall. I know she hates cardio days; she whines and begs to get out of it. Please Steve, don’t make me….then I ask and she complies. Who can she whine to right now? No one….poor thing. I bet she’s ready to go by now.

Go home, shower….get dressed. Man, I wonder what she’s going to wear. Maybe a dress. I bet so. Short, black….clings to her in all the right places. 

“Heads up!”

Good thing I’ve got a good reaction time. Clint’s arrow would have hit me if someone hadn’t have deflected it a little first.

Clint walks over to retrieve his decoy, “you seem a little distracted.”

“Lost in thought. Sorry,” I sigh, “I think we’re about done right guys?”

Tony always the first for the door, “Thank Christ. I could use a drink.”

More like can’t stand to be in the same room with me. I wish we could just move on. I lied to him, yes. I shouldn’t have but I couldn’t let him know. Honestly, I believed he had to have known at some point before. Clearly I was wrong. 

A quick change and I get my phone. Kendall has been busy. Three new photos.

This one, she looks so irritated…. “These dudes. Hey girl what’s your name? Its really hard it’s Taken and it’s spelled f-u-c-k-o-f-f.” 

She’s a sailor my girl. My girl…I do like the sound of that.

“Just a little rest. Almost done. I wish I would have had a speech from my Captain.” She’s sprawled out on a mat on the floor. Must being rolling out. Her hair is down now, her skin is glowing and that little pout of her pink lips….she doesn’t even know how glorious she is. I’m going to make sure I make the effort to tell her as much as I can. You are enough.

The last one is a little strange. Still on the mats but it’s a long shot; literally it’s her from the mirrors on the other side. “this is the spot. I was sitting right here when I first saw you walk in here. I was so floored. But you know what I didn’t feel? Afraid. I’m not good with people….I get so anxious but you make me calm. That means something right? Maybe? Am I crazy? I know you’re busy. I’m rambling.”

Hmm, seven minutes ago. I bet she’s done. “Sorry I was training. Finished now.”

She must not be driving yet. She answers right away, “That last one was a bit much. Sorry. I just….I’m in my own head too much you know. Didn’t mean to sound like a crazy person.”

“You didn’t. Really. Thank you for the compliment. I feel the same around you. Calm, like nothing is wrong. That I can stop carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders.”

“That weight isn’t your burden to bear Atlas.”

Beautiful and intelligent. Hard to not smile, “I bear it never the less. I’ve gotta get changed and then I’m heading home. Is it all right if I give you a call when I’m on the road?” 

“Sure. I’d like that.” And a smiley face thing. No one ever gets offended by politeness.

I think I took the quickest shower on the planet; I just want to make time speed up. Just have a few things to do once I’m home to be ready. 

I try to get back to my office and get my jacket and keys without anyone seeing me. I did say tried.

Sam, “she must be something if you’re trying to take off without talking to anyone.”

“I just don’t want to be late. Seems like that’s a problem.”

At least he laughed, “for you it’s a way of life. I’m just jerking your chain. I just wanted to tell you good luck and have fun.”

“Thanks. I’d be lying if I told you I wasn’t a little nervous. I’ve never really had a real date before.” It’s the truth.

We’re standing inside a common area with couches right in front of a small kitchen. The door is so close. Sam just seems to want to be helpful, “tell you what…show me this mystery girl. Then tell me what you’ve got planned and I’ll tell you if I think you’re on the right track.”

Fair enough. I start scrolling through my photos, “Well, we’re having a nice dinner. She’s really specific about what she eats so I made sure this place had whole foods and would customize anything. Then I was thinking about a walk before we go to a club. I asked her about going after for drinks a few days ago and she said she knew a couple places,” ah there’s the one, “This is Kendall. And me obviously.”

I hand him my phone and his eyes get two sizes larger, “Wow….so, don’t take this the wrong way but that’s not what I pictured at all. She’s…man, that girl. I’ve got all the game in the world and here I am alone and you, no game at all….got her.”

“Maybe because I know there isn’t a game.”

“Touche,” he hands me back my phone, “really though Steve. She’s beautiful. And I got to stop talking,” he pulls out his phone and sits down, “because I’m going to go too far and getting throat punched by you isn’t on my to do list today.”

I clap down on his shoulder, “Solid plan. G’night Sam.”

I turn to leave and Natasha is standing there, “She’s pretty.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Sam sent everyone this,” she shows me the photo I showed Sam.

I turn to stare him down, “Dude, you weren’t talking or sharing and everyone wanted to know. Plus Tony bet me 100 bucks I couldn’t get you to talk about her.”

“Glad I could be of service,” seriously. It’s like working with children.

Clint strolls in almost unnoticed, “guys give him a break. It’s a date. He’s allowed after everything. Seriously though, you two look happy around each other. That’s something.”

Tony appears with a drink in his hand and gives Sam his winnings, “Kendall…what was her last name again? I feel like I know her.”

I try to be polite. I just want the tension down, “It’s Buchanan.”

“Of course it is,” Tony is clearly looking for something, “Thank you FRIDAY. I do know her. Her family comes from old money in New York. Gracious donations to the Stark Foundation,” he pulls up a photo. It does look like her, “I believe she was 14 or 15 here. Her dad thought maybe she could get along with me. We did have things in common….she’s grown up. All the muscle and other enhancements. Never mind that part. Anyway, oh Stanford. Third in her class. Law review every semester. Licensed to practice in DC but not New York. No felonies. Substantial net worth. Never been married.”

“Was all that necessary Tony,” a background check. He’s a real piece of work.

“You’re a national treasure Captain. We have to protect our assets.”

I’m going to let that jab at protecting an asset slide. I don’t have the time for this fight, “Fine. Just don’t go poking around too much. That’s my girl you’re talking about.”

“You have my word. Good luck tonight. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” that wink does seem like Tony before we had this falling out.

“I don’t think that will be a problem. Anyway, stay safe everyone. Good night.”

Everyone waves their good byes and I can still hear some of their discussion about my love life. I don’t care. I can’t get to my truck fast enough. 

Link up my Bluetooth and I’m off. Safety first. I call Kendall as promised.

I can hear her smile through the phone, “Hey you.”

“Hey yourself. Did I interrupt you getting ready? I mean, I gave my word I’d call.” thank goodness traffic is light out here.

“I mean, not really. I just let my dogs back in and put my gym stuff in the wash. I was just getting ready to start my shower when the phone rang. Oh my God…if the next question is what are you wearing I’m hanging up.”

I’m trying not to picture her talking to me in nothing but a towel, “I wouldn’t dream of it. I just wanted to check in see how your workout was. I know you were probably miserable.”

She went on to tell me the details. Complaining about the running and the looks she got, “I just don’t get it Steve. I’m in there without one touch of make up or my hair done or even trying to look presentable.”

“That’s just it, you don’t have to try and that’s one of the best things about you,” even thinking about her makes me smile like an idiot. 

Judging by the sigh on the line I said something right, “I don’t know what I did to deserve you Steve Rogers because I can’t think of one fucking thing that would make me worth….”

“Stop that,” maybe that was a little forceful, “you’re enough. You’re a good girl Kendall,” I stop enough to collect myself. Take down the tone, “I’m sorry that some sorry excuse for man made you believe you aren’t worth anything.”

“I never said that.”

“You didn’t have to,” back into the city in record time, “it’s your eyes. They give it away. Look, I might be simple but I know what someone in pain looks like. The only people that have the power to do that to a person is someone they love. You said you had people that you cared about hurt you. I can only gather that it was someone you were with.”

“Anyone ever tell you you’re very observant.”

“I didn’t mean to upset you but I was thinking about you today and when your eyes cloud over. It just kills me to think anyone could do that to a kind, beautiful girl and not give it a second thought.”

I hear her moving around, “it’s okay. Let’s make a deal…to be honest. I know the truth isn’t fun but neither is lying and being a fucking sneak. Could make for less awkward talks.”

“Deal,” seems like this drive gets longer every day, “I”m sorry for just….”

“Don’t be. I’m fine….I mean my day can’t be all bad right? I’m standing in my bathroom, in just a towel talking to Captain fucking America.”

Well that image is back, “I thought you said I couldn’t ask what you were wearing.”

“I did but I never said I couldn’t say. Honesty remember?”

I can almost imagine that playful look she gets, “well thank you for that image floating around my head. It’s a nice distraction from traffic.”

“Don’t think about it too much. Can’t have you getting in an accident.”

Always makes me laugh, “It’s not like you sent a picture or anything.”

There’s a long pause, “I could make this really weird right now but I don’t want to scare you.”

Crap. Too far, “Did I say something wrong…I’m…”

“NO! No…God no it’s just….It’s nice to know underneath all that morality and old fashioned way, there’s a man. Just a man with the same wants and needs like all the rest.”

That’s a relief, “Told ya doll. I’m just Steve,” finally home.

“Are you home yet?”

“Just pulled in.”

“Good timing then. I’m all sweaty and need this hot shower.”

“Maybe it should be a cold one.”

She laughed so loud, “maybe….oh man, is this the part where we do the no you hang up part? Like we’re not going to see each other soon.”

I lean back against the seat and feel the smile pull across my face, “You saying you don’t want to hang up? That’s awfully cute.”

“Stop….you’re making me blush.”

“Never. Anyway I’ll let you get ready. And I missed you today.”

“I missed you too Steve. See you soon then?”

“Literally counting down the minutes. Good bye Kendall, see you soon.”

“Right back at ‘cha.”

She hangs up and I can’t help that stupid look on my face. I know the older ladies in my building notice. They laugh to themselves. It’s okay. I’m happy and I don’t care who knows. I open my door and Bucky is sitting on the couch, watching TV.

“Hey pal….wow, what’s got that look on your face.”

“It’s Friday,” I start emptying my pockets out on the table and then hang up my jacket.

Buck turns and leans over the couch, “oh yeah, you’ve got that date with, um….Kendall? That’s her name right. The girl from the picture you’re ass over tea kettle for.” He looks proud.

“That’d be the one,” I try to start running down the list of what I need to do.

“I can hear your brain working overtime. Don’t think so hard.”

“I just….I haven’t felt this way in a long time. I’m just worried I’ll do or say something really stupid and ruin it.”

Bucky stands up and squares my shoulders. It’s like we’re kids again, “Oh you’re going to screw it up. We all do. Women have the effect on us. Whoever said or thought they weren’t in charge was sorely mistaken. The trick is to care enough that when you do or say something stupid you fix it. So, stop looking like someone shot your puppy. You care Steve. You’ll be fine. Now…go in there and make yourself presentable Captain. You’ve got a lady to sweep off her feet.”

“Since when does a Captain take orders from a Sargent?”

“Since when do you follow orders from anyone?”

He had a point.


	3. Pretty packaging

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kendall tries to pull it together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is all from Kendall's POV.

Well that shower was needed. I let all the hot water help relax me. I did run it a little cold at the end. Pure thoughts Kendall, pure thoughts. I felt my mind wander as I did my hair and make up. Mostly about tonight and what I’ll have to talk about. Normally I can’t shut up but I’m terrified of saying something completely stupid. I mean, this is Steve Rogers.

I guess I should back that up by saying that name has been legend in my family for as long as I can remember. My grandpa a.k.a Gunny has related to “that kid from Brooklyn” and used him as what we all should be: selfless. I used to read everything and anything I could get my hands on to do with Captain America. And you’d better believe I was first in line for the Smithsonian exhibit. Captain America was without a doubt my childhood crush but once learned more about Steve Rogers, I was done for.

Then to even think I would meet the man himself at four in the morning at my gym. That I would become his friend. And right now, I’m standing in my over sized closet, in my bath robe with my hair curled and my make up set, trying in vain to find something to wear because he asked me out on a date. How is this even my life?

I wasn’t lying. I don’t know what I did to deserve him. Steve is more than just a man; he’s a symbol. Everything about him just draws you in. He’s good. And he can see how broken I am and still wants to be here tonight.

He was right. Some man got in my head and made me believe I’m not worthy. That I’m not good and no one could want to love me. Mark Cunningham, that was the man that I dated in college. He found me freshman year. We were together for six years, two of those were nice. The last four were hell. I hate him. I hate him for every time he hit me. I hate him for every horrible thing he said.

But most of all I hate him because I have to tell Steve about him. I hate him for making sure that I could never be involved with another man without telling them about Mark. 

“You should just go in that. He’ll love it.”

I must have jumped a foot, “God damn it Cess. You know you can’t just sneak up on me.”

“I didn’t. You were just off….well wherever your head goes when you get quiet.”

I’m sure she has her ideas, “What did you want?”

She mindlessly starts looking through my closet, “I just came up here and asked if you’d found anything to wear.”

I let out a sigh, “In the words of every girl every where that has ever had a really amazing guy that they really really wanted to like them….I have nothing to wear.”

That little smirk on her face, “Oh he’s just a dude. A dude you’ve lusted over ever since we were kids. Remember when we got in trouble and Gunny and Nana’s because you punched me in the nose?”

“Yeah, because you told everyone at church Captain America was my boyfriend.”

“I was just a few years early.”

“Well we are gypsies right.” I needed that laugh. And a bad joke about the Romanian blood in our heritage usually does it.

“All right. All right….I’ll help.”

“I didn’t ask. And I hardly thing the advice of a dumb ass stripper with deep seeded daddy issues would work.”  
She feigns hurt as she presses her small hand to her chest, “A dumb ass stripper that’s been on more dates than you have. Come on Kay, when was the last date you went on?”

I have to stop and think. Trying to piece together everything after college and after my dad passed, “Brendan. Has to be.”

She laughs, “You know that was like two years ago right?”

“Has it been that long?” No wonder I can’t keep my mind out of the gutter every time I get close to Steve.

“Well, good for you. You’re a virgin again!” She runs away from my punch and laughs so loud it’s almost annoying but she has a point.

“So did you come up here to make fun of my shambles of a love life or help me find something?”

“Both but I can fix the clothes part…..what are you guys doing?”

“Nice dinner, a little walk, and then hitting up a club. Wouldn’t be a date without dancing and drinks.”

I can hear the gears in her brain turning, “You have anything in mind.”

I show her a couple of dresses I like. One is black, the other is red. The red one is sleeveless and covers just enough of me to be decent. The black on is asymmetrical with one sleeve. Both show plenty of cleavage. The black one is shorter than the red. 

She looks over my choices, “Do you have anything that doesn’t read as high priced escort?”

I give her an exasperated look.

“Hey! Here me out. Okay, so from what you tell me he’s super old fashioned and really….”

“Reserved?”

“No. That he doesn’t like to always put it all out there.”

I just shake my head, “Sure. He was my age in 1943.”

“Right so what I’m saying is…you’re used to guys from now. You have to put it all out there and throw it at them. They like that. But your Steve would probably run away. Poor guy probably doesn’t even know what to do with all of that.” she makes some gesture to my well defined features.

“Okay, One I’m sure he does know what to do. Two, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, you’re probably right. I should try something subtle.”

“Of course I’m right but I didn’t say…whatever the fuck you just said. I just was saying don’t be so obvious.”

Inside my head the face palm motion happens so hard, “Batting 1000 tonight Cess.”

“Don’t talk sports. Just find something.”

I see green. I’ve worn that before. It’s a little longer. The sleeves are sheer and there are a few places in the dress itself that are sheer as well, as in the midsection and at the bottom but all are tasteful. That could work, “This? You think?”

She looks it over, “That could work. What shoes?”  
“Hey now. One thing at a time,” I take the dress with me over behind my changing panels.

“Oh my god. Does he know about the tattoo?”

“No,” I come back out and turn. Silently asking her to help with the zipper, “I maybe haven’t said anything.”

She zips me in. Man this thing is tight, “you thinking you’re just going to surprise him tonight with it…well, at least later tonight.”

She laughs as I check the mirror. Not to bad Kendall, “Like that would even be on the menu tonight.”

“Poor baby. Frustrated as ever then. You need some d…”

“Stop it,” I look her over. I’m used to the, lets call it, free spirit that my sister is but that won’t help, “hey could you do me a favor….make sure you have actual clothes on. I don’t think Steve has ever met a dancer like you or would even be comfortable with….you basically naked.”

“I don’t change who I am for anyone man,” she looks over the panic on my face, “but since he’s super important to you,I guess I can put on a real shirt and sweat pants. For you.”

“Thank you.”

She looks at her phone, “you know it’s like 5:30 right?”

“Fuck…he said he’d be here at 6 which probably really means 5:45….” oh man, those black Louboutins are begging to be worn but two days after brutal leg day. I really am a dumb ass, “Black Loubs?”

“When Louboutin is the name, the answer is always yes,” she turns and starts walking out, “Caroline’s in the kitchen when you slip those walking sex shoes on. I’m sure she’s trying to see him too. Good luck!”

I hear her skipping down the hall. I get into my beautiful shoes and take one final glance. Yes, I’m good. Okay.

My phone vibrates with a text from Steve. As promised he’s only about ten minutes from my house. I text him the gate code and instructions with a see you soon.

I guess I should mention that this house is more of an estate. Like 8 bedrooms, 3 acres, pool and marble floors. My family is old money and this house has been in it for generations. I inherited it from my dad and have lived here most of my life. I’m used to the place but it can seem a little much for others.

I stroll into the kitchen to see Caroline. She’s worked here for us ever since I was born. She cooks and cleans and keeps an eye on us. Her kids are about the same age as we are, “Hey Miss Caroline.”

Her smile is so wide, “Miss Kendall you are gorgeous. You’re going to knock that boy out before you all even leave.”

I can feel my cheeks heat up, “I hope so. I’m a little….um, terrified.”

“Kendall, just be you. You told me you guys have been spending time together.”

“Yeah, but that’s in the gym or I’m trying to help him take his mind off his trouble. I don’t know….like what do I even say? What’s its like to be frozen? Or hey do my tattoos scare you….I mean, Caroline….he’s never seen me like this or my ink…what if it’s too much? What if he hates it and never talks to me again? This was a bad idea.”

She takes me by the hands and stops the impending panic attack, “Listen here my beautiful baby. You were created to be who you are and how you are. If that boy can’t take you as God intended then he’s not worth it. You need to stop letting that ghost of your past keep making the choices for you.”

I don’t know why she needs to bring God into it but to be fair it’s her way. I see the cameras switch to the gate view. It’s his truck. And the text that says, I’m here.

It’s like I can hear my heart pounding, “You sure I look okay?”

“More than okay. Just breathe. That’s all you have to remember.”

I try not to run towards the door. Let him ring the bell. Don’t be a weirdo.

And please God let Cesselynn have some clothes on downstairs.

There’s the bell…..


	4. The living is easy

While I’m positive he would look great in anything, seeing him like this is a treat. Jesus it should be unfair to be that hot in dark wash jeans, a tight blue shirt and a jacket, “Hey Steve. You look…really good.”

So you know that moment in Little Red Riding hood where she knows that’s not her grandma but the wolf eyeing her with hunger. In this exact moment, I know how she felt. I can feel his eyes drag over my body as the heat hits my cheeks, “Wow.”

“You like it? I was afraid the shoes where too much.”

“I hadn’t gotten that far. You look fantastic Kendall,” he even got flowers because of course he did. Star gazer lilies and roses, my favorites, “they aren’t even close to as beautiful as you but I don’t think anything on this earth exists that is.”

I blush even harder, “Um…oh, shit….come in….I’ll um, get these in water and show you around then we can go?”

“Sounds wonderful,” he slips inside and stands right in my personal space, “that perfume is different.”

I swallow hard, “uh, oh it’s Dior. I don’t usually wear it to the gym.”

“It’s nice. I like it.”

Why can’t I talk or why can’t I move, “This is weird. Why is it weird?”

“Maybe because you haven’t hugged me yet? That usually helps when you get a little out there. Come here,” he holds his arms open for me. How can I say no to that?

I sit my flowers down on the table in the foyer and slide my arms around his waist. The moment he holds me to his firm chest and those arms keeping me still I realize this is the first man I’ve felt really safe with in a really long time. Then Caroline’s “just breathe” advice come in handy. God he smells so good. Like everything you think a man should smell like. I can feel his heart hammering; so glad to know I’m not the only one who is nervous, “you’re right. That’s what was making it weird.”

His laugh rumbles low, “See I told ya,” his hands roam over my back, “I have to tell you. I’m glad you’ll be on my arm tonight. Gorgeous lady like you will need some back up looking like this.”

I pull back and try to down play it, even though my cheeks are on fire, “What about you? Looking all put together and smelling like freedom.”

He laughed so loud. I love that sound, “Smelling like freedom. That’s a new one. I’ll have to remember that.”

Just as I get out of his arms two little interlopers run to meet me. My two dogs, an English bulldog and a French bulldog, run up barking and doing their best to be my guard dogs, “Boys that’ll be enough,” they immediately sit but keep their eyes on the new person, “Steve these are my fur children….the big guy here is Mr. Turd Ferguson.”

God bless him he drops down to let Turd sniff him then reaches out for a pet, “Mr. Ferguson. Pleasure.”

Warms my black little heart, “And the little fella is Grant. He’s only two and he’s more trouble than the other.”

Grant sniffs Steve’s hand then immediately walks under it to be petted, “Grant huh? Good name.”

“I know….totally coincidence,” they seem to like him which generally is good. He seems to like dogs. This is going all right, “let’s get these flowers in water. They’ll have you here all night rubbing their bellies if you let them.”

He stands and nods to the dogs, “fellas, see you around. I promise I won’t keep your mom out really late.”

He called me their mom. He’s so winning all the points. I take his hand gently and slowly start to lead him.

I watch him look around and take it all in, “must be a real hardship living here.”

I keep the sarcasm going, “it really is. I often have a hard time thinking about coming home.”

He rubs his thumb along my my hand, “I thought you were going to show me around.” fucker winked at me. Like I wasn’t confused enough.

“Yeah I am,” deep breaths, “It’s on the way. So you’ve seen the foyer. No big deal. One the right side is the formal living room and the formal dining room. In other words, only for holidays and some events we’ve had,” I pull him along into the family room, “this is where I am if I’m down here. One of these two rooms. This is the family room.”

I let go of his hand and watch him look around, “guess I expected a huge television and big speakers.”

I smile as I grab the controls and direct his attention to the painting. I open up my menu and with one push the painting slides open to reveal a hidden TV, “I like to keep things out of sight if I don’t use them. The surround sound is hidden to keep it looking as original as I can.”

He smiles, “spoke too soon,” he walks over to the mantle and looks at the pictures,” this you?”

I walk over and see the one of me and my dad at Disney, “Yeah, and my dad. I know. I look different. I had lots change but that was a good memory,” it really was. God I wish he was here to meet Steve.

“This must be your mom then…but that’s not you right?”

“Yep that’s Roxanna,” I push the frame a little more back, “and that isn’t me. That’s my sister. I was told to take that photo.”

He looks a little confused, maybe sad. He puts the framed photo back in its place and looks over a few of the others, “I’d love to meet her sometime.”

It makes me laugh, “Oh I like you. I would never make you meet her. Besides, she’s back home in New York. The countess doesn’t come out here unless she has to.”

“Back home in New York?” that got his attention. 

“Yeah, um I’m not from DC. Not really. This house is an old family house. We came here for winters and long weekends. My grandparents still live in New York; spent summers with them. But I’m from Midtown. My grandparents are from Brooklyn and that’s where they still are.”

There’s that smile that could melt the ice caps, “I knew it.”

“Now what’s that mean?” I walk towards the library and he follows laughing.

“That attitude. The confidence. Screams New Yorker. But Midtown…..come on.”

“Hey,” I playfully smack his arm, “just because I was raised in a penthouse off Park Avenue doesn’t make me any less New York than you. And by the way you know no body but people from New York care what part of the city your from. Then again, I’m sure they just only think about Manhattan.”

He laughs and looks at a few more of the framed shots, “Calm down Park Avenue princess. Just trying to make you smile,” which I always do around him, “there we go.”

“Sorry. I’m a little…”

“Anxious. Me too.” he actually blushed. God, he’s so sweet.

“I bet my Nana would love you and Gunny, well he’d just want to ask you anything and everything. You’re kind of a hero you know.” Jesus Christ now I winked. I walk into the library slash den. He follows with his hands in his pockets taking in the the amount of books, “this is probably my favorite room in this house.”

“I could see why,” he steps closer to me, “all the knowledge and adventures you can escape in.”

I know he felt me jump when his fingers grazed my arm. Damn it. “I’ve added some since I got the house. This is the place me and my dad had the most fun. We’d talk about what I read and what I wanted to read. What I learned,” I can’t help but smile at that.

Steve’s eyes drift to a case in the corner. He walks over to it and shakes his head.

“Yeah. That’s Captain America number 1,” I feel the heat up to my ears, “we have the whole series and I’ve read them all.”

He laughed in an uneasy way and he’s doing that rub the hand over the back of his neck. He only does that when he’s uncomfortable.

I slide my arm in his and rest my head on his shoulder, “I’ve been reading about your adventures ever since I was a kid.”

“This took an even stranger turn,” he just stared at the comic in the case like it was some bizarre joke.

“Try being on this side of the situation,”I laughed, “look these were all written mostly as patriotic propaganda to get kids to behave and turn the comics back in to ration the paper.”

“There were many things that were for the war effort,” he seems so far away.

“Hey,” those blue eyes hold so much but I can the sadness, “come on. No moping.”

He matches pace with me, “are they good?”

“What?”

“Those, he gestures back at the den, “are they good? I hope they didn’t misrepresent me.”

“Well, you’re honest and brave and always do the right thing. That seems like you.” And devastatingly handsome. Please be as sweet as they wrote you Steve; you seem that way.

“It does. Now that you’ve got the man himself in front of you I hope I’m not too much of a disappointment,” he gently takes my hand, “Just a man, like the next one.”

We step into the kitchen, “Steve, I promise you that you’re nothing like the men I’ve known,” I squeeze his hand in reassurance,” that helped that tension, “Caroline! Someone here I’d like you to meet,” he looks curious, “my kitchen would be nothing without Caroline. I can’t cook anything other than breakfast. She’s worked for us ever since I can remember.”

She actually put on lipstick, “Miss Kitty”

That grin on his face, “Kitty?”

Caroline steps in, “A little nickname for her. You must be her date.”

She’s making doe eyes at him, “Caroline this is Steve Rogers.”

“A pleasure to meet you young man,” she extends her hand like some bad Scarlett O’Hara impression.

He lets go of mine, which makes me feel like I’ve lost something. He at least shakes hers, “Ma’am.”

Did she just do the clutch my pearls thing? Oh lord she did, “Please. Caroline will do just fine.”

I look around. Shit I left those flowers in the foyer, “Hey Caroline do we have a vase? Steve brought me these beautiful flowers that I left in the foyer because of who I am as a person.”

She pats my shoulder, “I’ll get them and put them in water. Don’t you worry.”

She leaves us and I catch her checking his ass out as she leaves. That one I swear.

“She seems like fun,” he looks around the room.

“She is. I love that crazy old lady,” one down. I can only hope Cesselynn put clothes on, “come on. Lower level is next and that’s where my sister is.”

He follows behind me. He’s close enough I can feel the warmth of him. I have to fight to not lose it totally, “Cesselynn,” I call out down the stairs, “you’d better be decent.”

We walk down and I pray that this doesn’t get even more strange.

“She kinda took over down here. There’s a bedroom plus a huge TV and pool table. It’s nice. I have my space she has hers. I have to warn you. She’s a,” don’t say stripper, “bit of a free spirit.”

“Why do you have a pole in the middle of this room? It’s not structural right so what’s it for?”

My poor sweet innocent Steve, “Play your cards right soldier and I’ll show you.”

He raises an eyebrow in question and gives me that wolf look again.

“Cesselynn,” I yell for her and then I spot her. At least she’s got pants on. Headphones in and dancing around the room. I take one of her many stress balls and throw it at her. Direct hit.

“What the fuck man,” she screams as she turns around. I want to die. That shirt is see through I should just be glad there’s a bikini top, “oh hey! I didn’t hear you guys! Something on my ceiling?”

I look back at Steve, who is not looking at her. Poor guy. I didn’t know what he thought.

“Hey dude, it’s cool. It’s a swim suit top,” she stands next to me and mouths he’s fucking hot, “I’m Cesselynn. Kendall’s sister. And you’re Steve right?”

He shakes her hand, “As far as I know.”

“She talks about you all the time. And she smiles when you call or text. She’s completely into you.”

I hate her, “Okay! That was fun, time to go now”

He smiles sideways at me, “I thought she might be. She talks about me all the time huh?”

I shove his shoulder, “Steve. Don’t encourage it.”

She laughs, “Get on with the grand tour. And have fun on your date. She hasn’t gone out with anyone in two years bro. Two years, I would die if I went that long without….”

“Okay! Really fun chat. Later.” At least Steve got the hint it was time to go.

He calls his good bye to her over his shoulder and takes my hand again as we go back upstairs, “You haven’t dated anyone in two years?”

I can feel the heat on my cheeks,”Yeah. I had a bit of a wild period. I just needed time to find myself and it wouldn’t have been fair to put that mess I was on anyone. I needed to get there,” I pointed to the main foyer, “through there and up the stairs to the left.”

I let him lead me upstairs, “Well, thank you for the honor of having you on my arm.”

I don’t think my cheeks could be any more red, “Thank you for asking,” I point down the hall to the right, “down there is just more bedrooms and bathrooms. Pretty average but over here,” I jump in front of him not letting go of his hand, “is my private sanctuary here.”

I push open the french style doors, “This is my bedroom. Also known as a master suite,” I can feel him hesitate, “come on Steve. I’m not trying to lure you in here to throw myself at you. I’m a lady after all.” That little wink to sell it.

His light up the world smile is worth it as he follows me in. He looks around the room, “all this for one person and her fur children.”

I sigh sadly, “Yeah just me in this king size bed. And I have two person tub in the bathroom plus a separate steam shower all for me. Sometimes I take my coffee and sit on the private balcony. Come look,” I walk him over to the doors and we stand outside looking over the landscape.

He strokes his thumb over my fingers. His voice barely above a whisper, “It’s beautiful out here.”

“It’s still. If you lose the stillness inside you lose yourself in the world. The calm centers me.”

His smile is soft. The blue in his eyes seems softer; sweeter, “That’s a lovely sentiment.”

“I borrowed it but thank you,” I lean my head on his shoulder, “all this and brains too. You’re one lucky fella.”

He lets go of my hand and wraps his arm around my waist, “Don’t I know it.”

“You make me blush so hard.”

“It’s adorable.”

“I hate it,” I laugh and walk back inside, “come on. One more room.”

He closes the doors and smiles,“It’s still adorable. Just like that nickname….Kitty.”

I bet you can make me purr. Oh stop…stop. I open the last set of double doors, “This is where all the magic is,” he follows me into my large closet. Walls of shoes and clothes. There’s a large accessory table in the middle of this space. Plus a make up chair and mirror with the best lighting.

“This,” he shakes his head, “I mean….do you….you wear all this?”

“Well, the gym clothes get tons of use. And the black dresses and dress clothes for work. I don’t do as much as I used to with the rest though.” I might now.

He looks at the side with the dresses and runs his fingers along the garments, “Well that’s a crying shame. I think we’ll have to do something about that.”

“You think so? What makes you think this isn’t just a one time thing,” I stand closer to him as he looks at my selection.

Now it’s his turn to blush, “ ‘Cause your baby sister says you’re gone on me doll. You won’t shut up about me,” he stops over some of my more vintage pieces. 

“Maybe I am a little gone, soldier,” I look closer to see what caught his eye, “good taste. These are all vintage or at least vintage style. 40s and 50s mostly. I like the simple elegance and the prints.”

He turns his attention to me and rests his hands on my waist, “I’d love to see you in one of those sometime. Call it indulgent,” he pushes a stray hair behind my ear, “we should head out so we’re not late for dinner.”

“Um….yeah….sure,” why do I want to feel those lips against mine.

I let him take my hand. Normally that freaks me out to let someone close. After Mark, I just….I get nervous. God I have to tell him. I just don’t want to ruin it. 

Ever the gentleman, he leads me slowly down the stairs and even grabs my clutch from the table on the foyer. Of course we say good bye to my boys and I promise I’ll be home to them. Steve holds the door open for me and I step out.

“This cobblestone looks great on the drive. Not so great with these shoes.”

He shuts my front door, “I could carry you.”

“Flirt,” I take his hand again, “it’s only a little way. Still not fun.”

He stays close by and gets the door for his truck, “My lady,” he helps me in the door.

“You ever going to not get the door?”

“Never,” he shuts the door for me and I buckle myself in. I text Caroline quickly and ask her to lock the door for me.

I put my phone back in my clutch and hear him get in. He starts the truck and smiles sweetly. He puts an address into his gps and pulls out. Wow, talk radio.

I know XM radio so I turn it to the Sinatra station. He smiles at me, “What?”

“Not what I pictured you wanting to hear, but it’s nice.”

I let the words to The Way You Look Tonight float over me. I find my mind wandering to the conversation I had with Steve earlier.

“I’m sorry some sorry excuse for a man made you believe you aren’t worth anything.”

Fucking Mark Cunningham. I hate that I can’t even look at a man without all that shit that Mark did to me creep back up. I’ve worked so hard in therapy. I just want a man to touch me without thinking he’s going to hit me. I want to be able to give myself without feeling like I’m just a toy to him. I just want….

Suddenly I jerk my hand away. God, he tried to take my hand and I pulled away. I hate myself, “Steve…I’m sorry….”

He shakes his head, “Don’t be. I surprised you. You just looked lost in thought, then sad.”

“I should tell you…”

“You don’t have to.”

I take his hand this time, trying not to shake, “No, there’s a sad story and if you want to be in this with me you need to know.”

I take a deep breath and blow it out. Here goes nothing….

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know a little cliffhanger.


	5. The first cut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kendall comes clean about her past

“So you know I went to college at 16.”

He nodded as he switched our hands, covering mine with his, like he was giving me the strength I needed.

“I was fumbling my way across campus because I was late and I ran into him, Mark Cunningham. Like literally right into him. He dropped his coffee and turned to see this really awkward skinny kid flat on her ass and horrified.”

I swallow hard. I try to push down the emotion and pleading with myself not to cry.

“Anyway he was really sweet to me. He offered to take me for coffee as long as I promised not to spill it. So I thought why not. No boy had ever asked me out so I was in shock. We met up two days later. He was sweet. I found out his was finishing up his Masters. Of course he knew about me. Everyone knew the kid genius. He said he wanted to know the girl behind the story.”

“He was much older than you,” I could tell he was trying to just get information.

“You could say that. I was 16 and he was 25 almost 26. We were together almost six months before he even kissed me. It was too late though; I was in love with him. I told him of course. There was nothing really physical until I was 18. He was my first everything,” please don’t make me explain.

He sat in silence and just let me talk which I appreciate. This is harder than I thought. I can feel the tears welling up, “I was too young to see the other part of it. He pushed me away from the friends I had made. He took up every spare second of my time. I had met some people out there that were from DC and we actually sang accapella music together. But he didn’t want me near them .Always saying I wanted friends or I wanted him but I couldn’t have it both ways.”

We were at a light and he gave me a long look, “That’s not all.”

I felt a hot tear slip down, “No. I remember the first time I told him that I had other plans. It was silly but the first time we ever fought. I told him I was going with my friends because I hadn’t hung out with them and I missed them, then….he hit me. Hard. Right in my face. Said something like not with that black eye you won’t.”

The tears fell without me knowing. I hate that I’m crying, “It wasn’t the last either. He would always tell me he was sorry and he would work on it. But it was always the same. I would take him back. Like a fucking idiot!”

I wasn’t paying attention to where we were. Steve had stopped in some public lot and unbuckled my seat belt. He pulled me to him and wrapped his arms around me, “I’m so sorry sweetheart. You didn’t deserve that.”

I tried to stop the flow of tears and control my breathing but it didn’t work. I sobbed softly while Steve held me. It was like I was reliving those six years all over again. The shame and guilt and the heartbreak I thought I had buried. I thought therapy really got me past it. But here I am, in the arms of the man that I’ve been ass over tea kettle for since I can remember, having a meltdown over Mark. 

I felt my blood boil at the very thought of Mark, “I hate him,” I sniffle back the tears, “I hate that every time I want to date someone I have to tell them about him. I hate myself more. It took him nearly killing me to finally end it all.” Not a total lie. I held onto Steve and let myself feel his energy. He wouldn’t hurt me. He’s a good man.

He cradled my head to his neck and rested his head on mine, “That’s all on him. He took advantage of a young, innocent girl for his own gain,” he pulled me forward and looked in my eyes with his intense blue gaze, “I swear to you Kendall I will never take advantage of you. I will never physically lay hands on you. I will defend you with everything I am. I can’t promise I won’t hurt you; that’s the risk in trusting others. But seeing you cry…..it kills me. And if this Mark ever finds himself in my path, I’ll take care of that.”

I know he means every word, “Thank you,” he wipes the tears with his thumbs, “god I’ve ruined it haven’t I?”

“Not at all. It takes courage to show others the not so perfect parts of you.”

“Well,” I sniffle and try to move away, “I totally get it if it’s too much and you don’t want to do this….”

“Stop…..I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere,”He took my hand. That made me smile, “there’s my girl.”

“I like it when you say that. My girl. Sounds nice.”

“Good, I like saying it,” I lay my head on his shoulder, “you okay?”

“Can we just, be still and sit a minute?”

“Anything you need.”

I wring my hand in the hem of my dress, “Um could you,” just say it Kay you big pussy, “could you just hold me for a minute?”

That smile is soft and sweet and it gets me, “It would be my pleasure,” he opens up for me to scoot in closer. I press my face into his chest and close my eyes as he wraps his arms around me, “take your time. Just breathe, I’ve got you. Not going anywhere.” If he wasn’t next to my ear I don’t know I would have heard that it was so quiet.

I can feel him slowly running his fingers up and down my arm. He still has me secure against him, firm but not making me feel trapped. Its so relaxing. I try to block the whole world out, which is pretty easy with the sound of his heart. I feel the tension start to melt away and it’s easier to breath again. Bless him, he doesn’t say a word. Just keeps touching me gently and keeping me close to him. 

I don’t feel like I’m going to burst into tears anymore. I can breathe and Steve is still right here, “I think I’m okay now.”

He tightens his grip slightly, “if it’s all the same to you, how about we give it a few more minutes? Just to be sure. I don’t want you to be upset or not feel safe.”

“I feel plenty safe with you,” I cross my right leg over and hook my foot behind his calf. I hope he feels that jolt too, “hey I’m sorry to dump all that baggage on you but I felt like you needed to know. It’s why I’m so jumpy. All that abuse gave me this anxiety. Then add my dad dying on top of that, abandonment issues. Boom, full blown train wreck.”

He runs his fingers through my hair, “Quit saying things like that about yourself. We all have a past; so it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. Here’s what I know, you’re one of the strongest women I’ve ever known. You’re a survivor and whatever comes your way you always come out on top. Nothing about it changes how I see you.”

I smile, “Can’t surrender, I don’t know how.”

I love his laugh, “I’ll have to remember that one.”

I show him my right forearm, “I liked so much I put it on my skin forever.”

“Seems like you do that,” he sighs, “I’m sorry. That sounded worse than I wanted it to. I guess it’s seeing more of your skin at a time than usual.”

“I get it, not too many chicks in 1943 were walking around with tattoos all over.”

“Not ones you wanted anything to do with,” he traces the letters on my forearm, “can I ask why you got them? Isn’t it painful?”

“Nope. Mine were licked on by baby unicorns and sealed with angel tears.”

“Kendall…”

“Fine, they do hurt. Not as much as what was hurting me at the time I got them. Most of my art was done after my dad passed. If you look long enough you’ll see a religious theme. A few pieces aren’t, but all the larger ones are. Dad loved going to mass and he found so much comfort in God at the end. I thought maybe if I kept that close to me I could keep my dad here too. Also, underneath all this artwork are some places that have been scarred up from the abuse. I wanted to cover that up; these scars that are beautiful now cover part of my ugly past.”

He squeezes me tight again, “That’s a wonderful way to put it. I guess when I look at you I don’t see any of that. I was just a little overwhelmed but I’ll work on it.”

“Well I’d be happy to tell you anything you want to know about any of them.”

That smile means trouble, “are there ones I can’t see right now?”

“Why Captain Rogers I’m shocked,” I fake shocked pretty well, “asking a lady what’s under her clothes.”

“I think it’s a fair question,” he slowly runs his fingers on the bare skin of my thigh from my hem to my knee and back. I can feel my face burn.

“My ribs on the right have the apostle’s creed,” it’s hard to think. I’m trying hard not to jump, “I have a rosary on my hip on the right side and, um….” oh man, that one is going to be hard to explain.

“And,” he takes my hand in his and holds it to his lips. Good god, never thought a kiss on the hand would make everything in me weak.

“The other one has a story and it’s a little embarrassing now.”

“More than a comic book under glass,” the mischief behind those eyes. I do love to see the way the light catches them and you can see little hints of green in that sea of blue.

“Along those lines. To say that you were an obsession for me is an understatement. I grew up with all these stories about you. Even as a little girl, I knew that you were what a man should be.”

He laughs, “You telling me you had a little crush on me?”

My cheeks are on fire, “I guess so, yeah.”

“How am I doin doll? Living up to the expectation?”

“So far,” I watch his hand stop on my knee and I cover it with mine, “I remember when I read they’d found you. I was in my dorm, while my arm was in a sling and a fat lip. I thought if Steve Rogers can survive seventy years in ice, I can find a way to get through this,” I can fight these tears, “in a way, you being found gave me a reason to get away from him. So I wanted a reminder of that. When my arm healed up, I went to a tattoo shop and asked them to help me remember. So on the left side of my hip is your shield. I mean, I’d show you but it wouldn’t be decent,” I give him a little wink.

He’s red to the tips of his ears, “Oh really now.”

“Yes sir,” the little salute was a bit much but he laughed, “right there in red, white and blue ink. Where I could always see it and any man lucky enough to see it would know what he was up against.”

“You’re somethin’ else lady,” I like it when the Brooklyn slips out.

“Hey now, I’ve been accused of being lots of different things but a lady isn’t one of them.”

“But you are a lady, my lady. My girl. Nothin’ you can do about it either,” there he goes. Kissing my hand again and I feel like I’m high.

That’s okay, two can play this game, “you saying you’re sweet on me soldier.”

That slightly amused look on his face can’t be good for me, “I’m sayin I’ve been sweet on you since we first met. I just didn’t want to get my heart broken when your fella showed.”

“Guess I’m lucky you waited.”

“Nah, I’m the lucky one. I get the most beautiful girl in the city out on my arm.”

I blush so hard, “Charmer.”

“Honest,” I feel him sigh, “you know, I might not be too good at this. Never been out with anyone before.”

I can’t even hide my confusion, “Like no one, ever?”

“Well, no. Not no one ever. Buck used to make sure the girls he took out had a friend for me but that wasn’t a date. Not really. So this is my first one alone with anyone.”

Wow. Now that’s a bombshell. Not even Peggy Carter herself didn’t get dinner with him? Man, that gets my mind working over time about a whole other list of questions, “well, I’ve had a few first dates. And those guys had all had first dates before and you see where that got me. So maybe it’s better you haven’t had one yet.”

“You have this way of not making me feel like I’m an idiot.”

“I imagine people assume you’re simple, and you are Steve. You’re a simple man. But their real problem is they think simple means the same thing as stupid.”

He looks satisfied, “That’s a good way of putting it.”

“I always say underestimate me, that’ll be fun.”

We both laugh. I’ve never not felt awkward on a date. But now, I feel, well normal.

I feel his eyes on me again, burning into me, “what?”

“I don’t get it. How am I sitting here with you? What did I even do to deserve this?”

I just can’t help myself, as a grin creeps across my face, “Nothin’. You’re just some kid from Brooklyn.”

He shakes his head, “What am I going to do with you?”

“Well you told me you were going to feed me and then go on a walk. Then I promised we could dance.”

“Thank you I had forgotten.”

“Oh look sarcasm,” my phone is going off like crazy, “sorry I just need to check this really quick. Could be a work thing.”

I open up the offending email. No fucking way. Well that explains the texts from that number. No way.

I must have looked off because he looks worried, “everything all right?”

“Yeah, yeah lets just get going,” I scoot over and fasten my seat belt, “did you give Tony Stark my name?”

He seems like he’s irritated, “Not exactly. Tony decided to get one of my team mates to tell them who I was going out with tonight. I told them I was going on a date so of course, big news right? Well, I show Sam this picture of us and he then sends it to everyone on the team.”

“Including Tony,” I sigh, “if he asked you I’m sure….”

‘He doesn’t get to know everything,” he takes a second, “sorry. It’s just so”

“High handed.”

“Yes! Exactly it. Thank you. Anyway, Tony sees the photo and runs facial recognition and there was everything about you in a few computer screens. He said you had met him before.”

“Our families are old money. The Buchanan's are gracious benefactors of the Stark Foundation. My dad thought talking to Tony would do me some good. You know, two geniuses sharing their struggles with growing up in normal society and all that. I guess it worked. I’m not a womanizing alcoholic with the need to save the world.”

He laughed, “you left out control freak,” he navigates his way through the streets as I focus on the task at hand, “he found your information and?”

“Well, he emailed me then sent me like four text messages. He says hi by the way. Um, he wants to have a meeting with me tomorrow at eleven to discuss a project.”

“What did you say to that?”

I put my phone away after ending business for the night, “He might be a narcissist but he’s still Tony Stark. When that guy asks you for a meeting, you take it. So I guess I’m having lunch with him tomorrow.”

I didn’t even know we’d stopped. This is a cute little place he found, “Well just be mindful. He likes to get every detail about everything.”

“Don’t you worry Steve. I’m Team Cap all the way," I wink for good measure, “besides, Ironman sucks.”


	6. First time for everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Date night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is from Steve's POV

All right Rogers. You’ve charged into more dangerous situations than this. She likes you. Just be yourself. Be a gentleman.

She at least waits for me to get the door for her. 

“I’m never going to get used to that Steve,” she blushes as I walk with my hand softly against her lower back.

“Manners don’t cost anything,” she takes my arm as we walk. 

“That’s just something poor people say,” that wink. 

“We can’t all be as fortunate as you,” I get the front door for her and she blushes. She’s so gorgeous like that. Like nothing she told me about ever happened.

I give the hostess my name. She smiles sweetly at me and there’s a look she gives Kendall I can’t place. The restaurant is smaller and more intimate. It’s a nice place. I liked it and knew it would be perfect when I saw it.

I get her chair for her, “aren’t you the perfect gentleman,” she sits slowly and gives me a side eye that makes my skin burn. 

“I try to be,” my fingers sweeping across her waist as I help her scoot her chair in wasn’t a mistake. Her change in breathing didn’t escape me. I give her a smile as I take my seat. God, she’s a vision and she doesn’t even know.

She quietly looks over her meal options, “you know this is going to be a task right? It’s just hard with all my restrictions and intake needs. I did alter my other meals so I can take some chances.”

In so many ways. 

We order our dinner. She was right, her eating is a complicated affair. It’s like a science experiment and I would know. She even got some white wine she assures me is just because she likes it. She laughs at what she calls the most basic all American thing, steak and potatoes. 

“I’m a simple man Kendall.”

She smiles and seems to be looking around the room.

“What are you doing?”

“Sorry,” she looks ashamed, “I like to people watch. I do it when I get over whelmed. And I have really great hearing so I can usually tell what people are saying.”

I play along as our drinks are sat down, “well what’s so interesting?”

“The couple in the furthest corner,” I nod ,”they’re waiting for his parents. Those two have been trying to have a baby for six years and tonight they get to tell his parents that they will have two grand babies to love on.” She has a sad smile.

Everything in God’s time. They look so happy.

“And the couple we passed in the center. It’s their date night. But he’s texting someone else. Right in front of his wife. That’s why he’s typing and smiling at his phone. I think she knows but I’m sure she doesn’t know what to do.”

I reach over and take her hand. I could never do that to you. That’s cruel.

“Sorry it’s just something I do,” she sighs, “most of the rest of the room is not very interesting. Mostly people looking at you and hateful things about me.”

“Why on earth would they do that?”

“Because I’m the one sitting here with you, not them. Jealousy is an ugly disease,” she slowly takes a drink like it’s the only thing that will help.

“Hey,” I stroke my thumb over her knuckles, “don’t worry about what people think so much. My eyes are only for my girl. You won’t ever have to worry about me talking to someone else while we’re at dinner. I’m with you.”

She smiles, “I believe you. I just get worried I’m not enough. You’re just so good and perfect…”

“I’m not perfect. I assure you.”

“Just more of the damage Steve. Every now and again, the doubt creeps up on me.”

“Well, we’ll have to work on that beautiful.”

It’s like a light turns on under her skin when she smiles like that. I’m glad I can get the reaction. 

We talk about some general things. We’ve gotten to know each other over the past few months so we know about family and growing up. She isn’t great with talking about her parents but hers seem complicated.

She seems thrilled to see food. She does love to eat, as she’s said many times. Even the silence between us is comfortable. I like just being with her.

Then I feel her foot slide up the inside of my leg and I can’t help it. My knee slams against the table. There’s that laugh again.

“What’s got you so jumpy,” a wolfish grin on her face as she eats.

“You know well,” I calmly move her foot down to a less intimate space, “look Kendall. I just want to do this right. When I told you I never have been out with anyone, I meant it. I’ve only ever kissed two women and actually meant it. Kissed three total. I just need to move slow.”

“I still find it hard to believe you and…” she looks away, “sorry I shouldn’t.”

“You can say her name.”

“I know she passed and I didn’t want to bring up something unpleasant.”

“You talked about your past. Well mines pretty simple. I thought Peggy Carter hung the moon. She was the first woman who really saw me. Not this version of me, the real me. As I was. She didn’t think of me as less. She was strong and had a good head on her shoulders. I guess I was just oblivious to how she felt. No woman ever took my breath away like her.”

“You had asthma. Everything took your breath away.”

Still made me laugh, “Regardless, she saw me. And I guess what I didn’t see is that she didn’t see any other man like that. She had to make it glaringly obvious. She came to this pub one night and Bucky saw it. He told me sometimes you just, and I’m quoting here, take a dame in your arms and kiss her. She was the only person that helped me get my head straight when I thought Buck had died. And even though it was dangerous and I was going to stop everything she was still there. I kissed her and…it was everything it should have been. Just like the movies.”

She looks moved, maybe sad. But she’s listening.

“Then fate happened. I didn’t even tell her that…,” it’s like it was yesterday in my mind, “I talked to her when I took the plane down.”

“The interview for the exhibit told me that,” she takes my hand, “I just watched footage and knew she loved you. First loves are hard to forget, believe me I know.”

“I’m glad I found her again and got to see her. I thank God every day for the time I spent with her. Even though she wasn’t always herself, I still got to see her again. Which is all I promised in the first place.”

“You’re a good man Steve Rogers,” she smiles again, “man both of us talking about our exes on the first date. We’re awful at this.” It makes her laugh.

“At least we’ll fail together.”

Her laugh is infectious, “you should finish your dinner.”

“Yes sir,” there’s that look again. Get yourself under control man.

“That’s a good girl,” now her cheeks are flush. Guess I know how to get her attention.

The rest of the meal is pretty quiet. Just some, I’d guess you’d call them flirty glances across the table. I can’t help but kiss her hand a few times and she actually giggles. 

As we’re ready to leave, I help her stand. She slips her arm in mine and we walk toward the door.

“Pardon me,” this older woman stops us, “I’m sorry to bother you young folks. I just have to say my husband and I were watching you from across the room and it made us think of how we used to be.”

“Still are,” her husband takes her hand in his and presses it to his chest.

“You two are very sweet,” Kendall looks so touched by them.

“You’re a beautiful young lady,” the older woman says, “aren’t you lucky?”

“I think I’m the lucky one ma’am,” her smile tells me I’m on the right track.

The older gentleman extends his hand, “I’m Frank and this is my wife, Betty.”

“Frank,” I take his hand, “Steve Rogers. This is my best girl Kendall Buchanan.”

“Well, you’d make her Rogers sooner rather than later young man. A woman like that is once in a lifetime.”

Kendall’s cheeks are bright red. I can’t fight my smile.

“Frank, take it easy. You’ll have to excuse him, he’s very forward.”

“It’s perfectly all right,” I pull Kendall close to me, “now if you folks can excuse us. We have a walk to get to.”

“It is a beautiful night,” Frank sighs.

“Second most beautiful thing I’ve seen,” I look right at Kendall. Her face couldn’t be any more red.

We part ways and I can hear them talking about why I seemed so familiar. Thank goodness for that. I hold the door for her and she shakes her head.

“You’re smooth Rogers I’ll give you that,” she says as she takes my hand in hers, “that old couple was sweet.”

“They were,” I open the truck door for her and help her in. I know the perfect spot for a walk. I get in and that music is playing. Billie Holiday. There’s a name I know.

Then I hear it. Kendall singing along to this song. It’s like she feels the words rather than just sing them. Her voice is angelic. I take her hand as she sings along to the music and I listen as I drive. It’s not far but I almost hate to hear her stop.

“I didn’t know you had such a beautiful voice,” I park my truck and look at my girl, who’s obviously embarrassed.

“It’s a habit. I sing. It’s calming. I didn’t mean for you to hear…”

“I’d listen every day if you’d let me.” I get out and get her door, “shall we?”

She nods and slips her arm in mine and we walk along this path.

“It’s like you understood what you were singing. Like you understood it.”

“I like the standards. Things that probably were just there when you were younger. It’s good music and that stands the test of time.”

“That didn’t answer my question.”

“I went to law school. I’m an expert at dodging,” she sighs, “but I do understand heartbreak and pain. I’m an old soul.”

“Me too,” she laughs and leans in closer, “Cold?”

“I mean, it’s not bad,” she tries to warm her skin.

I take off my jacket and hold it open for her. She slips her arms in and settles back in close, “Always the gentleman.”

She starts to hum a song I don’t know. I do the only thing I can think of; dance with her. I step back away and spin her toward me. Holding her close to me feels natural. The smile on her face makes it even better.

“Steve,” she looks up at me. Those eyes could stop me dead in my tracks, “there’s not any music playing.”

“Like I need music to dance with you.”

She sighs and leans into my chest. It’s the best I’ve felt in ages. 

I close my eyes and it just comes out of me. I start singing Only Forever. It’s the only thing I can think that would be perfect. I’m not good as her but I do okay.

“That’s a beautiful song. I’ve never heard it.”

“Bing Crosby. Only Forever. I used to listen to it before everything.”

“It’s nice.”

“I’m not as good as you.”

“Everyone needs a flaw Captain.”

Why don’t I want to let her go yet, “where’s this place we’re going? Is it nice?”

She laughs, “It’s not what you think of when you hear dance hall. I assume you’ve been to a club before,” she at least didn’t roll her eyes when I nod, “this one is comfortable for me. I used to spend many a night there. There’s lots of behavior there you won’t like. It’s best if you don’t say anything. And stay close to me in there. People get a little grabby.”

“Got it,” honestly doll, I don’t care where we are as long as we’re together.

“So are we going to stop dancing now,” she laughs , “not that I’m complaining. You smell so good,” and then hides her face, “damn it, I wasn’t supposed to say that out loud.”

“You know you’re cute when you blush,” I lift her chin to look at her.

And time stopped. I can’t hear anything. Nothing exists except for her and I. She’s looking at me like beyond what she can see. It’s been a long time since I’ve had that. I don’t want to ruin it.

I kiss her forehead; it felt right. I can feel her sigh against me. She’s the strongest woman I know, and so fragile. I just want to put her pieces back together.

We walk back to the truck. Arm in arm and hand in hand. It’s so easy, natural. She smiles and I’d do anything to keep that on her face. I just hope the next part goes well. I feel like I’m going to be in uncharted territory.


End file.
